Stop Saying Sorry

Today I went on my weekly grocery run and I had an interaction that really resonated with me. Side bar: I have to say the longer I wear these masks in the stores the more I find myself feeling claustrophobic. Today was difficult because it is getting super hot here in Texas and the store was not blasting the AC as cool as I like it. Anyway I try to get in and out as fast as possible. I always make a list to eliminate wasting time thinking about what I need.

Of course with the current state in most stores we are all just doing our best to stay out of each others way and follow the arrows on the floor (sometimes lol.) I headed down the cereal aisle and there were a couple of people along with an employee stocking. As I am zig zagging through the people trying not to hit anyone with my cart I’m saying “sorry, sorry.” An older black gentleman in an electric scooter enters the aisle and stops me. He says “why are you saying sorry?” and I reply by saying “oh I was in the way.” He counters by saying “stop saying sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for.” I nervously giggled, said thank you and continue to the end of the aisle. Right in that moment it hit me. He was right, I wasn’t truly in the way. I was just maneuvering around just like everyone else.

This isn’t new. I say sorry a lot in situations that I shouldn’t. I have had this conversation before with a friend about my habit a while back and how I wanted to stop. I will cross paths with someone in a shared space and a lot of times I will say sorry instead of excuse me. I have even said to myself after one of these awkward interactions “Stop saying sorry. Say excuse me if you need to but not sorry.” Many times I would notice that I said sorry and the other person barely even said excuse me or looked me in my eyes. Today was the first time that I have had a complete stranger call me out on saying sorry when there was literally no reason for me to be apologizing in that moment. It was as if I was apologizing for just being.

I’m not sure why or when I started apologizing in spaces that it was not warranted. I do know however that I apologize often for elements of my personality or certain emotions that are simply part of who I am. So I wanted to share this sweet nothing with you as I may or may not be the only one that struggles with this. Stop apologizing for taking up space. Take up as much or as little figurative and literal space you need. Don’t apologize for your feelings, as your feelings are always valid even if they are not understood. Be kind and respectful always. Apologize when it is the right time but never apologize for just being. Stop saying sorry.

Have you ever found yourself saying sorry in places of your life that you shouldn’t? Let me know down below.